"God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future
(that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future--to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities.
"God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill yourdreams, just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe."
Jeffrey R. Holland, "Terror, Triumph, and a Wedding Feast," CES Fireside, Sept.12, 2004, 2-3
I found this and i wanted to share it.. I never thought that God was waiting for me to "dream". I always felt like maybe dreaming was to juvenile and no one could ever possibly understand my dreams.. The dreams that i have had since i was a little girl.
I feel like I have to be completly honest here. I am struggling so much with this whole faith thing. I never really understood it. I feel like a total hipocrit. I try to walk strong and keep my head up but at the moment all i want to do is cry and have some coffee... (okay so heres a secret.. I havent had coffee in over 5 yrs but whenever i get really sad all i want is to curl up with a cup of joe and cry). I have been through alot in my life. Which might not make much sense since im only 23, but take my word for it. I have been places and seen things that no one no matter how old you are you should never have to go through or see. I felt like I wasnt worthy to speak to God. and even if i was, how can i talk to someone that i wasnt sure existed.. I'd like to say i have faith that God exists and that he is there to comfort me in my time of need, but i couldnt look anyone in the eye and say that.. See what I mean, A total hipocrit.. I went through the Temple. I try to pray everyday.. But i feel like im stuck in the worst rut possible and i just need someone to pull me out of it. Jason tries but he feels like i need to work it out on my own.
Well, there ya have it.. not all my dirty laundry is out (well maybe not all of it :) ) but now ya have it
April 07, 2008
my struggles
Posted by KattandJas at 5:06 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comments:
well i'm sorry you are having some struggles. but to be short, i think we've all had your same exact struggles. i think those struggles are good because they cause us to really think about what we believe, and to actually study it out. your husband is right - it is up to you to figure out things. but remember your family and ward family are here to support. :)
Post a Comment