pity party

jason and I found out yesterday that my heart

has been whats been causing my dizzy spells and fainting

Im a little scared. My grandma has had arythmia since she was 16.

She just got a pace maker put in a couple weeks ago.

Im nervous that i will have to go through the same thing.

Im also feeling like i am all alone right now

Jason has been working alot and

ive been getting alot of greif from some friends and family.

I feel like maybe i have done something wrong

or maybe they have realised that they just dont like me.

I always put on this big front when i was a kid

and i was told that i just need to be myself.

Well now that im myself i feel like no one likes that person

I feel like they hang out with me because they

feel some sort of obligation.

Maybe its all in my head. Im getting invited to things.

but i still cant shake the

"lets all hang out with katrina because we have to idea"

It sucks.

Maybe im just feeling bad for myself.

Sorry for the pity party.

Im done now.